listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
