The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
