Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
