At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
