I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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