The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
