yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
