Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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