I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
