I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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