I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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