why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize