Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
