Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
