I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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