What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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