O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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