I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
