I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
