I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
