Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
