I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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