you turned your livingroom into a bong?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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