I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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