fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
