I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
