cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
