This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
