I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
