I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
