508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
