the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
