she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize