Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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