Well apparently he's into motor boating.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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