All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
