you guys were way drunker than both of me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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