I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
