Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
