Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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