so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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