I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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