Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
