hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
