apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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