she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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