census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
