If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
