That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
