If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
