your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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