i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
