I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
