So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
