My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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