Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
