I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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