Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
