Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
