She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
