Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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