Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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