Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize