just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
