She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize