Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
