I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
