I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
