apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
